Wednesday, June 22, 2005

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This banner outside a hotel caught my eye last week. That got me wondering - who is this mysterious Virginia? Where did she come from and how did she arrive at this fleabag hotel?

To me, this is the only logical answer:

Virginia (born Altanbujir BhasarQo'ayci) was a goat milk taster on the Mongolian Steppes. Her job was to taste the "first pour" from the herd. Sometimes it was sweet, sometimes it was chunky, especially if the goats had been drinking the night before. Her career path would have taken her to herd management supervisor (the person that ties rubber bands on the male goats' doodads so that they turn black and fall off), but she wanted more out of life than just handling goats from the neck backwards. She heard that a career in travel was a great way to get paid seeing the world, and she wanted to serve people. She also liked the thought of working in an environment where the merchandise would not take a dump while u were trying to drink from their glands. So she became a bus, growing a purple paint job and giant mirrors. She enjoyed a stellar career, with traveller after traveller climbing on her and riding her for hours.

However, her only problem was that she enjoyed her job so much, she didn't know how to stop once she started rolling. The only way for passengers to reach their destination was to hang a sign outside that told Virginia that she had, indeed, arrived.

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005

"What's that smell? Is it garbage.... or kimchee?"


...so said my partner in fishball crime V as we walked past her Korean neighbour's door.

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